Pissed at my body – so I’m choosing love
How about a quick update on my scary-low iron?
Do you remember those short stories from college where you choose the ending? Let’s do that.
It’s been a month. I just finished my bottle of prescription iron and I’m starting a new one, and I’ll have one more after that.
I still look around at everything I’m not doing, everything I can’t do. And I get pissed.
Dust on the lamps, dust on my curtains, dust on my hiking boots.
Worst of all, dust on my gym bag. Doc put the brakes on exercising a month ago. Exercise was my meditation, my church, my center, my balance, my zoning out and my focusing in. And just like that, my body betrayed me and it was taken away.
I’m tired. I’m beyond frustrated, and I feel useless much of the time.
I just want this all behind me.
Those dizzy spells I thought were normal? They weren’t, and they’re gone.
I can run up the steps to help the little with the potty and I don’t have to catch my breath. Two flights of stairs, from the basement to the bedrooms – that’s a little tough, but I recover quickly. I’m loading the dishwasher without couch time afterward, and my kids get more playtime with mom.
Oh, and the kids, they’ve become used to me needing a lot of down time, so they’re now accustomed to finding independent activities and helping around the house. I’m going to keep that going, simply because it’s a good idea. Win!
I’m grateful that my body doesn’t have any absorption issues, so a few iron pills are all I need to get back into fighting shape. It’s an easy fix! I’m happy that I found out why I was feeling so crappy, and that I gave myself permission to rest and recover.
I’m in awe of how resilient my body is. Absolute awe.
Body, I’m talking to you now. (Kooky for me, I know, but let me go.) This is the time to give you a little extra love. I’m going to listen to what you need – rest, movement, nourishment – just let me know! And I’m going to give you exactly what you want. We’re in this together.
We have a book in our regular bedtime story rotation called Pete the Cat and his Magic Sunglasses. It’s about Pete walking down the street and encountering grumps along the way. He gives them his magic sunglasses so that they can look at the world through a positive lens. Then the sunglasses break, and everyone realizes that it wasn’t the sunglasses at all. We all have it in us to look at situations however we want to see them.
So when I get mad and frustrated that I have to park it on the couch for a few minutes, I put on my magic sunglasses and wait for the hugs and snuggles that come my way every time I sit down.
Nobody wants to be even mildly sick, but this isn’t awful.