It’s safest to assume people don’t want to be written about on the internet, so I’ll call this person Anne.
I met Anne a handful of times at our moms’ group. At each meeting, one member is spotlighted – she tells a little about herself, her background and interests and whatnot.
When it was Anne’s turn, she answered her list of questions and closed with, “we just moved here, so if you need a friend, I could use some.”
Wow. Talk about cohones. That was the kind of boldness you don’t see very often.
My immediate reaction was, why didn’t I just put it out there like that when I moved here a few years ago?
I spent the next couple of weeks wondering, is that what it takes this day in age? Are we so disconnected that we have to practically write it on our foreheads, in a way that nobody could possibly doubt what our intentions are?
It became apparent that some people got the message, but only kind of, because Anne came out of the woodwork again – this time, on the moms’ group’s Facebook page.
Her post was longer and more eloquently written, but the message was along the lines of, “Women need connection. Our meetings are great, but how does one make it go deeper than that? I’m looking for real friendship.”
To which I replied, “who wants to come over for coffee Friday?”
She reached out. But that wasn’t enough. The other side had to reach out, too. And then, there was a third step – to accept an open invitation. Who knew making new friends could be this complicated?
She accepted the open invitation, as did two other moms. I brewed up the coffee, another mom brought some sweet treats, and the kids entertained each other.
I would say we peeled back the small talk layer and started to get into the good stuff – the meat of who we are.
That’s what she meant. That’s what we all need. We need to go beyond the hi-howaryas and really connect. But we need a small-group environment to do so.